look no pants
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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