Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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