We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
