wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
nutella sex= disaster
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Randomize
