The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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