let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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