question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
