i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
