thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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