Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
