Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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