you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ugly people sure do ruin things
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
