what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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