Nicole vs. Life
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
