North Korea, Best Korea!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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