just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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