She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
