party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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