There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
