Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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