mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
