We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Houston, we have a blender
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
