yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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