I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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