I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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