i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
a search helicopter?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
