she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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