I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
