You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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