Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
