Can i not drive my cunt home
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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