In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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