i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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