I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
