We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
