We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
