You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
