Porn is love you can see.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
