Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
