Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
