I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
