This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
