the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
