I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
