it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
