there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
