Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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