So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
