Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
