he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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