you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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