In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
